Personal Sewanee

I have no words

Weeks ago Betsy and I were wandering around an odd store in Winchester, TN, called Hammer’s. It’s a department store from the 1940’s or so, and has never been renovated or updated at all. The current contents of the store change from time to time, and all of it is cheap, and weird.

Case in point, this candle:

Smell My Nuts candle

Now….this is NOT a photoshop job. This candle was sitting happily alongside other candles, with scents like “Apricot Jam” and “Apple Cobbler.” If you can’t read it, here’s an enlargement of the photo, and here’s one of just the label.

The mind boggles and the fact that someone, somewhere, thought this was a good name for a scent. I nearly had to be picked up off the floor when I saw this, and I’m keeping it here on my desk to remind me that somewhere out in the world, the person who named this has a job, and I, as yet, do not.

Edit: to assuage all you naysayers out there, behold! Here’s a link to the manufacturer.

By griffey

Jason Griffey is the Director of Strategic Initiatives at NISO, where he works to identify new areas of the information ecosystem where standards expertise is useful and needed. Prior to joining NISO in 2019, Jason ran his own technology consulting company for libraries, has been both an Affiliate at metaLAB and a Fellow and Affiliate at the Berkman Klein Center for Internet & Society at Harvard University, and was an academic librarian in roles ranging from reference and instruction to Head of IT at the University of TN at Chattanooga.

Jason has written extensively on technology and libraries, including multiple books and a series of full-periodical issues on technology topics, most recently AI & Machine Learning in Libraries and Library Spaces and Smart Buildings: Technology, Metrics, and Iterative Design from 2018. His newest book, co-authored with Jeffery Pomerantz, will be published by MIT Press in 2024.

He has spoken internationally on topics such as artificial intelligence & machine learning, the future of technology and libraries, decentralization and the Blockchain, privacy, copyright, and intellectual property. A full list of his publications and presentations can be found on his CV.
He is one of eight winners of the Knight Foundation News Challenge for Libraries for the Measure the Future project (, an open hardware project designed to provide actionable use metrics for library spaces. He is also the creator and director of The LibraryBox Project (, an open source portable digital file distribution system.

Jason can be stalked obsessively online, and spends his free time with his daughter Eliza, reading, obsessing over gadgets, and preparing for the inevitable zombie uprising.

17 replies on “I have no words”

Surely — SURELY this label was made by some disgruntled employee on his last day at work! Or it was a joke at the ol’ candle label factory and the typesetter forgot to change it back . . .

Or maybe, just possibly, the candle company folks actually understand popular culture, and so they created a candle for people who wouldn’t normally buy candles, but now they have your $5, and you have a funny label on your desk…who’s the smart boy now?

My goodness, this so reminds me of a gal at my place of work who makes her own scented handcreams, and named one “Twigs and Berries”.

Yes, I have a small bottle of Twigs and Berries on my desk.

Rich, if you had seen the store, you’d realize that it couldn’t possibly be a joke. We’re talking about a rural department store in Middle TN full of Carhart work clothes and lawn ornaments. Definitely a place with no sense of humor.

You know, the manufacturer’s page adds to the hilarity: To see the “Smell my Nuts” label, you have to choose the “click to enlarge” link. Pubescent spammers, rejoice!


But it wasn’t the store who made the candle, right? It was the candle company…and they seem to have a sense of humor.

Too often I have had the experience of thinking I was laughing at ‘the hicks,’ when it turned out that they knew what I knew, and they knew more, and were laughing at me…

Ah, Hammers! I remember shopping there back when I was at Sewanee. We found lots of weird stuff there, but never anything quite this amusing. (I remember a group of us bought thigh-high stockings that, it turned out, only came up to our knees. I guess that’s why they ended up at Hammers.)

We are very happy to see everyone talking about our candles. Hopefully the name will get you and the quality will keep you. Coming soon is our new triple scented candle that contains (summer melon/honeydew melon/and cucumber melon) its called “nice melons”
Thanks and have a great day!

I bought my very own “Smell My Nuts” candle at the local antique/craft mall in downtown Berne, Indiana. I thought it was hysterical. I bought them all…they will make great gifts! And they smell good too! 🙂

Given the source material for the scent, I guess they could also have called it “My Nuts’ Smell” which would have conjured another and probably more unsettling visual.

I love this candle!!! I used to buy it all the time at a craft show I used to attend. They stopped selling it a few year ago, and I have been looking for it ever since. Thank you so much for finding it funny and listing the candle. I now know where to find it again!!!! Did you ever try lighting it? I just know you will fall in the love with the scent!

Surely — SURELY this label was made by some disgruntled employee on his last day at work! Or it was a joke at the ol' candle label factory and the typesetter forgot to change it back . . .

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