I have no words

Weeks ago Betsy and I were wandering around an odd store in Winchester, TN, called Hammer’s. It’s a department store from the 1940’s or so, and has never been renovated or updated at all. The current contents of the store change from time to time, and all of it is cheap, and weird.

Case in point, this candle:

Smell My Nuts candle

Now….this is NOT a photoshop job. This candle was sitting happily alongside other candles, with scents like “Apricot Jam” and “Apple Cobbler.” If you can’t read it, here’s an enlargement of the photo, and here’s one of just the label.

The mind boggles and the fact that someone, somewhere, thought this was a good name for a scent. I nearly had to be picked up off the floor when I saw this, and I’m keeping it here on my desk to remind me that somewhere out in the world, the person who named this has a job, and I, as yet, do not.

Edit: to assuage all you naysayers out there, behold! Here’s a link to the manufacturer.

17 thoughts on “I have no words

  1. Surely — SURELY this label was made by some disgruntled employee on his last day at work! Or it was a joke at the ol’ candle label factory and the typesetter forgot to change it back . . .

  2. Or maybe, just possibly, the candle company folks actually understand popular culture, and so they created a candle for people who wouldn’t normally buy candles, but now they have your $5, and you have a funny label on your desk…who’s the smart boy now?

  3. My goodness, this so reminds me of a gal at my place of work who makes her own scented handcreams, and named one “Twigs and Berries”.

    Yes, I have a small bottle of Twigs and Berries on my desk.

  4. Rich, if you had seen the store, you’d realize that it couldn’t possibly be a joke. We’re talking about a rural department store in Middle TN full of Carhart work clothes and lawn ornaments. Definitely a place with no sense of humor.

  5. You know, the manufacturer’s page adds to the hilarity: To see the “Smell my Nuts” label, you have to choose the “click to enlarge” link. Pubescent spammers, rejoice!

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  7. you might be able to get back the money (plus some), but submitting this to maxim magazine’s “Found Porn” section.

  8. Jason,

    But it wasn’t the store who made the candle, right? It was the candle company…and they seem to have a sense of humor.

    Too often I have had the experience of thinking I was laughing at ‘the hicks,’ when it turned out that they knew what I knew, and they knew more, and were laughing at me…

  9. Ah, Hammers! I remember shopping there back when I was at Sewanee. We found lots of weird stuff there, but never anything quite this amusing. (I remember a group of us bought thigh-high stockings that, it turned out, only came up to our knees. I guess that’s why they ended up at Hammers.)

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  11. We are very happy to see everyone talking about our candles. Hopefully the name will get you and the quality will keep you. Coming soon is our new triple scented candle that contains (summer melon/honeydew melon/and cucumber melon) its called “nice melons”
    Thanks and have a great day!

  12. I bought my very own “Smell My Nuts” candle at the local antique/craft mall in downtown Berne, Indiana. I thought it was hysterical. I bought them all…they will make great gifts! And they smell good too! :)

  13. Given the source material for the scent, I guess they could also have called it “My Nuts’ Smell” which would have conjured another and probably more unsettling visual.

  14. I love this candle!!! I used to buy it all the time at a craft show I used to attend. They stopped selling it a few year ago, and I have been looking for it ever since. Thank you so much for finding it funny and listing the candle. I now know where to find it again!!!! Did you ever try lighting it? I just know you will fall in the love with the scent!

  15. Surely — SURELY this label was made by some disgruntled employee on his last day at work! Or it was a joke at the ol' candle label factory and the typesetter forgot to change it back . . .

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