Ok…I’m pretty certain we’re all sick of the LiveStrong bracelet fad by now. Yes, I know it’s for a good cause. Yes, I know that Lance Armstrong is cool. Yes, I know everyone is doing it. But fucking Nike started it. It can’t be all good.
But when I see cheap rip-off bands in my local Shell station, I declare the fad over. Especially when shit like these are coming out…nothing is worse than knee jerk patriotism (do not get me started about the freaking yellow magnetic ribbons on everyone’s cars).
Anyway…there are already sites where you can order parody ribbons for your car…I think it’s time for parody bracelets. I’m thinking something like…make up a bunch of them with different labels for everyone:
Political: Liberal, Conservative, Left, Right, Green, Socialist, Communist (would have to be Red, I think)
Sexual: Top, Bottom, Queer, Gay, Straight, Trans, Bi
Religious: you can fill these in
Or how about just random messages:
I hate everyone.
Fuck the world.
Penguins rule the universe.
Whatever you wanted. I’m convinced that if I printed up a couple hundred black bands with something like “Metalheads for killing babies” I could sell them like hotcakes.
I’m telling you…I could make a *pinky finger near mouth* million dollars.